Master of Illusion

I prayed for wisdom and discernment and took a look around
 I woke up and everything changed, my depression somewhat waned. 
My eyes opened up and I seen things differently
I had a lot to clean up in my life I let it all collide and neglected myself
I lost myself I gave into doubt I didn't treat myself with much clout
I treated myself with disrespect, judgement and hate
It was justified  by my people pleasing ways
I thought I could get by I thought I could do it all alone
I seen the patterns  and tried to change them around
many people would rather crawl on the ground
They don't like change they want you the way that you were 
A wonderful punching bag with absolutely no worth 
To tell them exactly what they want to hear and with extra sugar to make it really clear
I became a shell of a person disconnected from my heart and soul 
Someone to just use as they please for their illusion of ego greed
I was the master of illusion and thought I was loved and tried to give it back 
though drained of it for myself leaving me a empty shell with nothing left for me 
How do I get out of this I really must know
Continue the Journey and trust my own soul
Don't lose myself no matter how hard it may be
My heart mind and soul knows my ultimate destiny
I am a co creator made from above
I can be full of absolute love
Tell myself that endings have beautiful new beginnings and believe it to be true
I can create a reality worth the sky so blue
I was the master of illusion but now I will reveal my truth
 I can create a reality of abundance and peace without any proof
Self doubt being my main enemy and thief
New beginnings I will show and keep
I will be a victim no more but a survivor to the core
A master of illusion I was but no more

Unleavened Puri ( East indian) bread

This is a recipe that was handed out last year at our assembly:

• 2 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
• 1 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/2 cup soft shortening ( I used Coconut oil)
• 1 1/3 cups Yogurt

1. Mix all ingredients well.
2. Roll into 1/8 in thickness and cut into rounds with a 4 in cutter.
3. Fry in hot oil (350 degrees) until puffy and brown.
4. Drain on paper towel or napkins

This was a delicious recipe, kid and husband approved.

Spilled Red Paint

The paint was red on the floor in a big glob mess with drippings on our kitchen rug. My daughter had a look of astonishment and surprise at what happened. "What happened Brooklyn ?", I asked.  "I don't know it just broke", she answered. In her hand was the broken bottle with red paint oozing out. It had left a great big thick red mess on the kitchen floor. She had wanted to paint her wooden butterfly. I was making cookies and starting our potatoes for dinner. I told her it was all right to do not wanting to take away her creativity and inspiration. Well, she freaked out and I probably freaked out and stressed when I was trying to finish up work for the sabbath. Her dad and I cleaned up the mess and later advised her in the future that she needs to be more careful and help clean up next time instead of running from her responsibilities.

As I was grumbling and cleaning up the mess with my husband and staring at red paint. I realized Yahweh sent his son Yahshua to clean up a mess he didn't make and he shed his blood for us. I also thought about the passover. The Hebrews put red blood on their doors to keep the angel of death away in Exodus, the last plague before they left Egypt. Yahshua is our Passover lamb to keep eternal death from us. Passover is almost upon us and the feast of unleavened bread. It is amazing how Yahweh speaks to us and everything goes together. Many times accidents are not accidents and lessons that Yahweh sends the Ruach haKodesh to speak and teach us.

We are new to celebrating passover and the Feast of Unleavened bread. I am excited how he is teaching us through the seasons, moons and teaches through our monthly cycles and pregnancies. Everything goes together for remembrance and teaching. I look forward to spring and the newness and freshness of everything. Spring cleaning to clean up the dust, dirt, grime and sin and make things new like Yahweh does. I love how he teaches us of  Yahshua's life death and resurrection through the biblical feasts.Ready to get out of the darkness of winter or oppression/slavery of Egypt and examine my life for leavening as I journey in my walk and teach my children the way they should go. I praise Yahweh and thank him for his wisdom, discernment and truth in Yahshua's name

40 weeks and baby arrived on time!

I didn't get a chance to post a 40 week picture because baby arrived right on time. On his due date January 13, 2015 at 10:16 am. He weighed 9lb 8oz and was 20 1/4 inches. Another successful VBA3C praise Yahweh. I did have a set back where they couldn't break my water until the baby went lower so I was in labor longer than expected and had to have pitocin but Rusty my husband prayed for me and I felt a warmness on my back and tried to push baby down. Yahweh helped us through and they were able to break my water and so I went from a 6 to7 to a 10 and was able to push and had him in about 45 minutes. Also I prayed for no back pain and I did feel less pain in contractions and was able to cope longer. 


 Here is a summary of Ethan's Birth:

My doctor stripped my membranes at about 3:30 pm at my regular appointment on January 12 and at about 4 pm contractions began. I was at a 3 or 4 when she checked. Then I thought my water broke at home at about 7 pm and so we went to hospital at 9:10 pm Turned out being fluid build up but water was still intact. I did get admitted after 2 hours and was at about a 5 to 6. I was opting for no epidural for awhile but my water needed to be broken and they wanted to use pitocin to help so at 2:45 am I got a epidural and at 3:45 am I received pitocin. I was getting really tired and frustrated so then Rusty prayed for me and that is when I felt the help for pushing him down. I am glad even though my doctor wasn't on call I got her former partner and she was patient and waited to break water until it was safe. Soon after the prayer the doctor was able to break water at about 9:30  am and I had him at 10:16 am on his due date January 13, 2015. Praise Yahweh and my husband was a great encouragement and help.

36 Weeks

I have been feeling braxton hicks on and off but the real thing will be coming soon. Due date is January 13. I am asking Yahweh for help with pain management and praying for a natural birth of our 5th baby boy and 6th child. We are all very excited anticipating this blessing from Yahweh.  I am feeling pretty good although baby boy is getting heavy LOL He is moving around and doing well. I wonder when he will be here we all guessed what day for fun. My daughter and I picked the 28th which is the day after her birthday. We didn't know each other's guess until we all picked so we will see Yah willing. We praise him for our blessing on the way!