Master of Illusion

I prayed for wisdom and discernment and took a look around
 I woke up and everything changed, my depression somewhat waned. 
My eyes opened up and I seen things differently
I had a lot to clean up in my life I let it all collide and neglected myself
I lost myself I gave into doubt I didn't treat myself with much clout
I treated myself with disrespect, judgement and hate
It was justified  by my people pleasing ways
I thought I could get by I thought I could do it all alone
I seen the patterns  and tried to change them around
many people would rather crawl on the ground
They don't like change they want you the way that you were 
A wonderful punching bag with absolutely no worth 
To tell them exactly what they want to hear and with extra sugar to make it really clear
I became a shell of a person disconnected from my heart and soul 
Someone to just use as they please for their illusion of ego greed
I was the master of illusion and thought I was loved and tried to give it back 
though drained of it for myself leaving me a empty shell with nothing left for me 
How do I get out of this I really must know
Continue the Journey and trust my own soul
Don't lose myself no matter how hard it may be
My heart mind and soul knows my ultimate destiny
I am a co creator made from above
I can be full of absolute love
Tell myself that endings have beautiful new beginnings and believe it to be true
I can create a reality worth the sky so blue
I was the master of illusion but now I will reveal my truth
 I can create a reality of abundance and peace without any proof
Self doubt being my main enemy and thief
New beginnings I will show and keep
I will be a victim no more but a survivor to the core
A master of illusion I was but no more